Don't do this. You know you'll regret it later.
Just don't start.
Don't.
Please.
June 28, 2012
June 19, 2012
~ Best ~
Must be nice to have a "best" something. I wouldn't know.
On another note though, you are, literally, driving me crazy. I may laugh, smile and joke around, but you do not know how much I am agonizing inside. Tearing myself apart with these thoughts that can never come true.
Catch-22, I believe it's called. I'm just not the kind of person to do that. And while I do have a 'best case scenario' conjured up in my head, good chance that it'll never everrrrrr happen.
But hey, I've been through this. I can handle it. No problem. Just hurts like hell, that's all. No biggie.
On another note though, you are, literally, driving me crazy. I may laugh, smile and joke around, but you do not know how much I am agonizing inside. Tearing myself apart with these thoughts that can never come true.
Catch-22, I believe it's called. I'm just not the kind of person to do that. And while I do have a 'best case scenario' conjured up in my head, good chance that it'll never everrrrrr happen.
But hey, I've been through this. I can handle it. No problem. Just hurts like hell, that's all. No biggie.
June 17, 2012
~ Knowing ~
I don't know.
Go back a few months... years even... and you'll find out that I don't know what I'm doing then, and I don't know what I'm doing now.
I never knew actually. Maybe I had an inclination of 'guessing' what I wanted to do, but that, to some people, is not enough.
I'm a very wishy-washy kind of person. You know it when you talk to me. It's probably one of the reasons why people don't really like me.
I wish I knew.
I "spoke" of this on Twitter the other day. I said that I had to find a new normal. Given what has happened in the past two months or so. A friend commented and said that he still hasn't found his normal, and that life's messy and unpredictable like that.
I do agree.
But the normal I'm referring to is a routine I guess. Something to look forward to everyday or every week or every year. Without it, it does feel like my lacking a focus. And given the recent happenings, it may well expound on the problems I feel on a daily basis.
Maybe not finding the new normal is the key though. Just going with the flow. Facing up to things one at a time instead of trying to find the magic formula to fix my life on the direct course its heading towards now? Being adaptable is probably the best way to put it. So I should learn that now. Shouldn't I?
Go back a few months... years even... and you'll find out that I don't know what I'm doing then, and I don't know what I'm doing now.
I never knew actually. Maybe I had an inclination of 'guessing' what I wanted to do, but that, to some people, is not enough.
I'm a very wishy-washy kind of person. You know it when you talk to me. It's probably one of the reasons why people don't really like me.
I wish I knew.
I "spoke" of this on Twitter the other day. I said that I had to find a new normal. Given what has happened in the past two months or so. A friend commented and said that he still hasn't found his normal, and that life's messy and unpredictable like that.
I do agree.
But the normal I'm referring to is a routine I guess. Something to look forward to everyday or every week or every year. Without it, it does feel like my lacking a focus. And given the recent happenings, it may well expound on the problems I feel on a daily basis.
Maybe not finding the new normal is the key though. Just going with the flow. Facing up to things one at a time instead of trying to find the magic formula to fix my life on the direct course its heading towards now? Being adaptable is probably the best way to put it. So I should learn that now. Shouldn't I?
June 4, 2012
~ Compromised ~
It appears that every location where I normally get to emo freely without caring for the thoughts of others have been duly compromised.
That's what happens when you let people get close I guess. =3
It's not a bad thing. Granted, I have been hanging out with a lot of people I never thought I would ever be hanging out with. It's surprising really. 10 years ago I would never have thought that the landscape of my social networks would be comprised of the people today and devoid of the people then.
I do not regret it. I do rue some of the decisions I've made and wonder sometimes what would've happened if this or that had been done. But this is my life now. And figuring out how to live it differently would just be a waste of time.
I have met LOTS of people, and given that I'm not that freely sociable, that's saying something. Everyone I have met are awesome, even if I don't get along with some of them. Each and everyone have molded me into who I am today, for better or for worse. And while I get that most of them will never see this, I would like to thank you all, even if you don't know that I am thankful for you.
Not sure how this became a thank you note. I was here to emo ya know... hahahaha... =3
That's what happens when you let people get close I guess. =3
It's not a bad thing. Granted, I have been hanging out with a lot of people I never thought I would ever be hanging out with. It's surprising really. 10 years ago I would never have thought that the landscape of my social networks would be comprised of the people today and devoid of the people then.
I do not regret it. I do rue some of the decisions I've made and wonder sometimes what would've happened if this or that had been done. But this is my life now. And figuring out how to live it differently would just be a waste of time.
I have met LOTS of people, and given that I'm not that freely sociable, that's saying something. Everyone I have met are awesome, even if I don't get along with some of them. Each and everyone have molded me into who I am today, for better or for worse. And while I get that most of them will never see this, I would like to thank you all, even if you don't know that I am thankful for you.
Not sure how this became a thank you note. I was here to emo ya know... hahahaha... =3
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