~ Apart ~

Things just don't seem so good from my point of view. I wanna live a lot better than how I'm living now. Just seems like I'm just getting in my own way.

There's a lot of things I want to do. A lot of things I wanna see. But I just can never get down to doing any of them. It's a lack of motivation or a lack of drive or a lack of something which I don't know what.

How do I make myself do something then if I don't want to do anything?

On to an alternate subject.

If anyone who knows me, knows that I used to have this insatiable crush on this one girl in school I had since a very very very very very long time ago. Why I brought that up? Recently, I've just been having these... not dreams, just imaginations as to how it would be to be with her.

Knowing her, my imagination is probably going into overdrive. But then, it was so pleasant that I didn't really wanna stop imagining them. This however calls to order as to why am I using her in my fantasies? Am I just asking for another heartbreak when I see her with her boyfriend again? Which, technically, I have no idea if she does or does not have a boyfriend at this point of time (I'm inclined to think no, because that the impression I got the last time I saw her).

Point though, is that I doubt we're good for each other or will even ever work as a couple. But my mind has just been thinking about it a lot lately. Heck, I'm not even sure how she looks like recently, I think my imaginations are using a stock photo of her from my school days.

Just saying now that I have no real intention to go chasing after a pipe dream. Cause that's all it really is. There's no way she's going to live up to what I'm imagining now, I doubt anyone ever will, but that's something to just see isn't it?

Expectations is a very annoying thing sometimes. You build up your expectation to a level where it's nigh impossible for anyone to ever achieve, but you build the expectation anyway, like a castle in the sky, thinking optimistically that someone will come by and be your perfect someone.

Even any expectation is a burden these days. I just find that any expectation will just ultimately disappoint, no matter how small my expectation is.

~ Sing ~

I love this song. Glee version and MCR version both. (YT video is sped down, quite noticeably. Will try to find a better link tomorrow or something)

Life feels very empty now though. Will espouse on it more another day, but at the moment, I'm feeling really empty, lifeless and pointless.

~ Movie List ~

My list of movies watched in a cinema since 23/06/2004. For the record, I did not miss one stub. I came close to losing one when the bloody machine refused to spit out the ticket (That was for Inception), but the guy at the counter was nice enough to print one out for me. =)

Split into years. =)

1. Around the World in 80 Days - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-06-2004
2. Spiderman 2 - GSC Mahkota Parade - 03-07-2004
3. Catwoman - GSC Mahkota Parade - 08-08-2004
4. Collateral - GSC Mahkota Parade - 21-08-2004
5. Anacondas: Hunt for the Black Orchid - GSC Mahkota Parade - 04-09-2004
6. Resident Evil: Apocalyspe - GSC Mahkota Parade - 02-10-2004
7. Ladder 49 - GSC Mahkota Parade - 14-10-2004
8. The Terminal - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-10-2004
9. The Incredibles - GSC Mahkota Parade - 13-11-2004

10. National Treasure - GSC Mahkota Parade - 21-01-2005
11. Constantine - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-02-2005
12. Hitch - GSC Mahkota Parade - 18-03-2005
13. Star Wars: Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith - 21-05-2005
14. T-Rex - Berjaya Times Square's Digi IMAX Theather - 03-06-2005
15. Madagascar - GSC Mahkota Parade - 04-06-2005
16. Batman Begins - GSC Mahkota Parade - 18-06-2005
17. War of the Worlds - GSC Mahkota Parade - 02-07-2005
18. Unleashed - GSC Mahkota Parade - 10-07-2005
19. Fantastic Four - GSC Mahkota Parade - 16-07-2005
20. Stealth - GSC Mahkota Parade - 03-08-2005
21. Herbie Fully Loaded - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-08-2005 (Charity Screening)
22. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - GSC Mahkota Parade - 20-09-2005
23. Flight Plan - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-09-2005
24. Chicken Little - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-11-2005
25. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-11-2005
26. Zathura - GSC Mahkota Parade - 30-11-2005
27. Aeon Flux - GSC Mahkota Parade - 06-12-2005
28. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe - GSC Mahkota Parade - 09-12-2005
29. King Kong - Berjaya Times Square's Digi IMAX Theater - 20-12-2005
30. King Kong - GSC Mahkota Parade - 29-12-2005
31. The Promise - GSC Mahkota Parade - 06-01-2005

32. Memoirs of a Geisha - GSC Mahkota Parade - 24-01-2006
33. Fearless - GSC Mahkota Parade - 07-02-2006
34. Fun With Dick & Jane - Mega Pavilion Cinemas Perangin Mall - 16-02-2006
35. Final Destination 3 - GSC Mahkota Parade - 03-03-2006
36. V For Vendetta - GSC Mahkota Parade - 25-03-2006
37. Lucky Number Slevin - GSC Mahkota Parade - 31-03-2006
38. When A Stranger Calls - GSC Mahkota Parade - 10-04-2006
39. The Wild - GSC Mahkota Parade - 19-04-2006
40. Mission Impossible 3 - GSC Mahkota Parade - 08-05-2006
41. Ice Age 2: The Meltdown - GSC Mahkota Parade - 05-04-2006
42. Ultraviolet - GSC Mahkota Parade - 28-04-2006
43. Poseidon - GSC Mid Valley - 20-05-2006
44. The Da Vinci Code - GSC Mahkota Parade - 24-05-2006
45. X-Men 3: The Last Stand - GSC Mahkota Parade - 25-05-2006
46. Over the Hedge - GSC Mahkota Parade - 26-05-2006
47. Cars - GSC Mahkota Parade - 18-06-2006
48. The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift - GSC Mahkota Parade - 07-07-2006
49. Superman Returns - GSC Mahkota Parade - 06-07-2006
50. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - GSC Mahkota Parade - 15-07-2006
51. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest - GSC Mahkota Parade - 18-07-2006
52. Night at the Museum - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-12-2006

53. Night at the Museum - GSC Mahkota Parade - 06-01-2007
54. Protege - GSC Mahkota Parade - 17-02-2007
55. Mr. Bean's Holiday - GSC Mahkota Parade - 24-03-2007
56. Spiderman 3 - GSC Mahkota Parade - 07-05-2007
57. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End - GSC Mahkota Parade - 24-05-2007
58. Ocean's Thirteen - GSC Mahkota Parade - 12-06-2007
59. Transformers - MBO Melaka Mall - 28-06-2007
60. Die Hard 4.0 - MBO Melaka Mall - 06-07-2007
61. Transformers - MBO Melaka Mall - 08-07-2007
62. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - MBO Melaka Mall - 13-07-2007
63. The Simpsons: The Movie - MBO Melaka Mall - 26-07-2007
64. Invisible Target - MBO Melaka Mall - 31-07-2007
65. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - MBO Melaka Mall - 06-08-2007
66. Disturbia - MBO Melaka Mall - 10-08-2007
67. Hairspray - GSC Mahkota Parade - 23-09-2007
68. National Treasure: Book of Secrets - MBO Melaka Mall - 22-12-2007
69. I Am Legend - GSC Gurney Plaza - 28-12-2007

70. Alvin & the Chipmunks - MBO Melaka Mall - 09-01-2008
71. Street Kings - MBO Melaka Mall - 20-04-2008
72. What Happens in Vegas - MBO Melaka Mall - 17-05-2008
73. Iron Man - MBO Melaka Mall - 21-05-2008
74. Speed Racer - MBO Melaka Mall - 22-05-2008
75. The Happening - MBO Melaka Mall - 14-06-2008
76. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 30-06-2008
77. The Waterhorse: Legend of the Deep - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 30-06-2008
78. The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 01-07-2008
79. The Forbidden Kingdom - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 02-07-2008
80. Horton Hears a Who - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 02-07-2008
81. Hancock - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 05-07-2008
82. The Incredible Hulk - MBO Melaka Mall - 09-07-2008
83. Hellboy 2: The Golden Army - MBO Melaka Mall - 12-07-2008
84. Wanted - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 15-07-2008
85. The Dark Knight - MBO Melaka Mall - 19-07-2008
86. 21 - MBO Melaka Mall - 08-08-2008
87. Money No Enough 2 - Cineleisure Orchard - 11-08-2008
88. Death Race - TGV Tebrau City - 22-08-2008
89. Wall-E - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 13-09-2008
90. High School Musical 3 - MBO Melaka Mall - 26-10-2008
91. Bolt - MBO Melaka Mall - 16-12-2008
92. Yes Man - GSC 1Borneo - 18-12-2008
93. Transporter 3 - GSC 1Borneo - 20-12-2008
94. The Spirit - MBO Melaka Mall - 26-12-2008
95. IP Man - MBO Melaka Mall - 29-12-2008

96. Bedtime Stories - Cathay Cineplex City Square - 10-01-2009
97. Watchmen - TGV Tebrau City - 07-03-2009
98. Race to Witch Mountain - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 21-03-2009
99. Slumdog Millionaire - Golden Village Vivocity - 28-02-2009
100. Fast & Furious - Cathay Cineplex City Square - 04-04-2009
101. X-Men Origins: Wolverine - MBO Melaka Mall - 01-05-2009
102. Mongol - MBO Melaka Mall - 13-05-2009
103. Threads of Destiny (Akai Ito) - MBO Melaka Mall - 13-05-2009
104. Angels & Demons - MBO Melaka Mall - 18-05-2009
105. Star Trek - MBO Melaka Mall - 20-05-2009
106. Terminator: Salvation - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 28-05-2009
107. Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian - MBO Melaka Mall - 29-05-2009
108. Monsters Vs. Aliens - MBO Melaka Mall - 01-06-2009
109. Transfomers: Revenge of the Fallen - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 23-06-2009
110. Blood the Last Vampire - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 29-06-2009
111. Hannah MOntana: The Movie - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 29-06-2009
112. Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs - Cathay Cineplex City Square - 05-07-2009
113. Dance Subaru - GSC Mahkota Parade - 14-07-2009
114. Public Enemies - MBO Melaka Mall - 15-07-2009
115. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - MBO Melaka Mall - 18-07-2009
116. The Proposal - MBO Melaka Mall - 01-08-2009
117. G.I.Joe: Rise of the Cobra - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 06-08-2009
118. The Taking of Pelham 123 - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 07-08-2009
119. Up - Shaw Theaters (Orchard Road) - 15-08-2009
120. District 9 - MBO Melaka Mall - 22-08-2009
121. Gamer - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 26-09-2009
122. Inglourious Basterds - MBO Melaka Mall - 07-11-2009
123. 2012 - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 05-12-2009
124. Avatar (3D) - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 17-12-2009
125. Sherlock Holmes - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 27-12-2009

126. The Imaginarium of Dr. Parnassus - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 06-01-2010
127. Legion - MBO Melaka Mall - 23-01-2010
128. Percy Jackson and the Lightning Theif - MBO Melaka Mall - 18-02-2010
129. Alice in Wonderland (3D) - Eng Wah Cinemas (Suntec City) - 13-03-2010
130. The Lovely Bones - MBO Melaka Mall - 20-03-2010
131. How to Train Your Dragon - MBO Melaka Mall - 02-04-2010
132. Kaiji - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 04-04-2010
133. Iron Man 2 - Golden Village Singapore Plaza - 02-05-2010
134. Ip Man 2 - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 12-05-2010
135. Ice Kacang Puppy Love - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 12-05-2010
136. Shrek Forever After - MBO Melaka Mall - 20-05-2010
137. Toy Story 3 - TGV Tebrau City - 19-06-2010
138. The A-Team - MBO Melaka Mall - 23-06-2010
139. The Legend is Born - Ip Man - MBO Melaka Mall - 14-07-2010
140. Inception - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 15-07-2010
141. Inception - MBO Melaka Mall - 17-07-2010
142. The Sorcerer's Apprentice - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 08-08-2010
143. The Last Airbender - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 10-08-2010
144. Repo Men - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 15-08-2010
145. The Expendables - LFS Mahkota Parade - 16-08-2010
146. Liar Game: The Final Stage - Golden Village Vivocity - 27-08-2010
147. Avatar: Special Edition (3D) - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 02-09-2010
148. Phua Chu Kang: The Movie - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 03-09-2010
149. Resident Evil: Afterlife (3D) - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 14-09-2010
150. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 25-09-2010
151. Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen - MBO Melaka Mall - 28-09-2010
152. Buried - MBO Melaka Mall - 15-10-2010
153. The Other Guys - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 16-10-2010
154. RED - MBO Melaka Mall - 21-10-2010
155. 71 Into the Fire - Golden Village Singapore Plaza - 25-10-2010
156. The Incite Mill - Cathay Causeway Point - 01-11-2010
157. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1) - Golden Village Bishan - 05-12-2010

158. The Green Hornet - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 11-02-2011
159. The King's Speech - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 24-02-2011
160. Underdog Soldiers: Tommorow When the War Began - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 04-03-2011
161. 127 Hours - GSC Dataran Pahlawan - 04-03-2011
162. I Am Number Four - LFS Mahkota Parade - 04-03-2011


Relatively interesting stats:
From mid-2004 to end 2004: 9 movies watched
2005: 22 movies watched
2006: 21 movies watched
2007: 17 movies watched
2008: 26 movies watched
2009: 30 movies watched
2010: 32 movies watched

Personal best movie of:
2005: Batman Begins
2006: V For Vendetta
2007: Transformers
2008: The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
2009: Avatar
2010: How to Train Your Dragon

Personal "why-did-I-watch-that" movie of:
2005: T-Rex (Actually... this was to test the IMAX out... XD)
2006: Memoirs of a Geisha
2007: Mr. Bean's Holiday
2008: The Spirit
2009: Watchmen
2010: The Last Airbender

Worth mentioning of: (Does not mean that movie is excellent... it just means I liked it... XD)

2005:
National Treasure
Hitch
War of the Worlds
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Aeon Flux
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

2006:
Fun With Dick & Jane
Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
Ultraviolet
The Da Vinci Code
The Fast & The Furious: Tokyo Drift
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
Night at the Museum

2007:
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Ocean's Thirteen
Die Hard 4.0
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
The Simpsons: The Movie
National Treasure: Book of Secrets
I Am Legend

2008:
Iron Man
Speed Racer
The Waterhorse: Legend of the Deep
Horton Hears a Who
The Incredible Hulk
Hellboy 2: The Golden Army
Wanted
The Dark Knight
21
Money No Enough 2
Death Race
Wall-E
Yes Man
Ip Man

2009:
Slumdog Millionaire
Mongol
Threads of Destiny (Known as Akai Ito in Japanese)
Dance Subaru
Up
District 9
Inglourious Basterds

2010:
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief
Alice in Wonderland
The Lovely Bones
Iron Man 2
Ip Man 2
Ice Kacang Puppy Love
Toy Story 3
The A-Team
Inception
The Expendables
Liar Game: The Final Stage
Resident Evil: Afterlife
The Other Guys
71 Into the Fire

I realize a big chuck of movies I watch I like. That's just how I am though. I can almost always find something to like about a movie. Only exceptions to this rule are Watchmen, The Spirit and The Last Airbender.

~ Conceal ~

Your pain.
Your hurt.
Your sadness.
Your depression.

Your joy.
Your elation.
Your happiness.

Your smile.
Your laugh.

Your fears.

All.

~ Think ~

Like that.
Like this.
Like a wonder.
Like you're winning.
Like you've had control.
Like you are in the driving seat.

That it's okay.
That it's fine.
That it'll turn out right.

Again.