~ Hide ~

There was an idea. To bring the world's most extraordinary people together... and something something something. :)

Well, I just wanted to type that. No particular reason. Just popped into my head when I opened this page.

But I do feel inadequacy, lost and depressed sometimes. I dunno if I'm acting sometimes or if I'm just that way.
When I'm quiet, it doesn't mean I have nothing to say. When I'm noisy, it doesn't mean I have something to say.
There is no real word to ever describe this I guess. And while I get that there are wayyyyy more serious problems in the world out there right now, I guess this one is the one I'm facing because, well, I'm facing it.

There's really no point in saying more I guess. I've felt this way ever since like... oh... I dunno... two versions of my blog ago? So that's like... 10-15 years? I thought I decided last year or so that I'll focus on being happy, doing things that make me happy and this feeling would go away.

And it did. In a way. But it doesn't disappear. So every now and then it always creeps back. Ever pulling me to the depths of despair.

So I hide. I hide it as best as can and I shoulder on. I've not been one for giving up. But it's tiring. And with no one to help me along, it's draining.

All my life I have never known what I want. Now. I still don't.